Leo July 24 - Aug 23
Wed May 26, 2004

Try not to be hypersensitive or over-react to other people's comments. Sometimes you can get yourself worked up about things that are not that important. Try to give yourself some space to just wind down and be a bit more at peace if you possibly can. Your attitude to lovers or family members is rather intense at the moment. If you have started a new romance recently check that the person really is good for you in all the ways that count.

Hmm.... interesting that it says this as that is pretty exact as to what I have been doing... Very very interesting.

No answers as yet though, these things take time.

Leo July 24 - Aug 23

Mon May 24, 2004

You're not particularly self- disciplined at the moment and you just want to stand back and enjoy watching life unfold. It seems like a lucky period, but actually you are coming up with some good ideas and acting on intuitive hunches which turn out to your advantage. Money will be fairly easy come, easy go. You are spending as extravagantly as you acquire it. Try to be more disciplined and save a little so you can be more financially secure in the future.

It's probably right too... Hopefully I'll be gone soon though and the credit will be paid off, and tickets. Then there's no need to worry - I hope!!

My hands are so sore today. My dermatitis has flared up again - I have no idea why. Obviously I've come into contact with something which doesn't like me, but I can't think what.... Ah well hopefully the dermatologist will be able to give me something to make it go away... Either that or I'll have to get my hands amputated!

So the weekend was at Melton. Which was like having a flashback to my teenage years - urrgh - but it was funny. Certainly needed to be pissed at the pub, which fortunately I realised early on & tucked into the beer... only pots, no pints available, so it took a little longer than I would've liked. But anyway, it was a funny and interesting night. I ended up getting up to dance with Trish (only one song) which was kinda weird as it definitely wasn't my sorta music. But anyway I decided to take the piss and did some 'leg guitar' on the dance floor. It went down so well the first time that I did it again, but the second time I kicked this girl, spilt her drink all down her front, and possibly offended her. I was so embarrassed! But after buying her another (fruity white wine - YUK!)she was happy enough and said I was a really nice person... Weird Melton people.
Some guy gave me his business card (ha ha) which is really good roach material - not too thick or too thin - but I wasn't really interested even though he worked for cadbury and there probably would've been some free chocolate in it for me... Anyway I told him I wasn't, and asked if I could still get chocolate for free... But he said to give him a call when I was interested... Ah well. I tried.



Before Melton though I got to catch up with Simon, which was excellent. I satyed there on Friday night and stayed up til 4 in the morning chatting and drinking, didn't realise how late it had gotten until I started ywaning and checked my watch only to find it was 4 IN THE MORNING!

We both went down to Aarons on the bike the next day, which was heaps of fun, both the ride down there, time with Aaron and Marie, and the ride back. I miss being pillion on the bike.

So all in all it's been a good weekend. Lots done, saw a few of my friends and family. Definitely time well spent.

I love autumn! All that colour and all those leaves that you can kick around and play in as you walk down the street... Ah, the smell of peoples wood fires, it's just so vibrant and crisp, but at the same time makes you want to snuggle somewhere with a good book... Winter, I could easily skip - and this year I am! Or at least will be delaying it for a little while. Still that has it's good points too - especially if you live near the coast.

I'm off to the country this weekend - Aarons out east on Saturday, and then to Tricia's on Saturday night and for the rest of the weekend. Should be interesting if nothing else.

Aaron and Marie recently bought my Dad's house - the house I grew up in, so it will be fun to see what it looks like now that my older brother is in charge of the decoration. I hope they've gotten rid of all those frills and flounces. Anne may be Irish, but it's no excuse for that kinda decor! Ha ha.

Tricia's place will be like going back in time to when I lived in Warragul and it was the commercial pub every weekend and then onto the only club in town when that closed - a place with an imaginative name - "The Club" Ha ha. So that'll be a bit of strange fun too. Looking forward to it all. It's like I am on holidays already! Feels that way anyway, probably because I have moved outta my place.

I stayed at Ang's last night - I love her and her place. It's just so relaxed and laid back. Their lounge room is full of books on practically everything that you could possibly be interested in. I spend so much time there flicking through one book or another on building self sustainable housing to Japanese style to crystals and what they mean, how they're formed etc etc. Love it. Will have to be going back to visit again before I go - if I have enough spare time. Such gorgeous, interesting people.

So much to do though - well not really but it still feels like it, and so many people saying that I 'have to catch up with them before I leave'. But then when I have spare time they don't and vice versa. I guess you can't help missing some people, but hey, it's not like I'm dying and will never return, or be unable to write or call while I am away.

Ah I'm so looking forward to actually getting out of here!

I had the strangest dream last night... Although when you're dreaming it, it doesn't seem strange does it?
I dreamt I was on a beach that stretched out into the ocean on a type of sand bar - I've been there before in my dreams. This time I had a pet dog with me, she was ginger coloured with a shaggy type coat. Lovely and happy she was. We played on the beach and then she jumped into the ocean and was playing in the water. So happy swimming and diving and somersaulting in the water. I looked around at the shore, and there was my Summah dog! Except she'd turned into a piglet! She was so small and sweet, and she wanted to join me in the water, but being a pig she couldn't swim (she can't as a dog either) so she was playing at the waters edge. She was so sweet and cute I went and picked her up. She was covered in a soft blonde down, with big brown doggy eyes.... She looked at me with such tender love, I hugged her and made to put her down but she squirmed closer to me. The dream ended there with Summah waking me by squirming on my bed, wanting to get up and bark at something outside.

I have no idea what it all means, but it was a good dream, made me feel happy on waking, and still does.

Mark went back to the UK on Monday, this time an even bigger mark shaped hole has been left. But in just 6 months I will be seeing him again, maybe less if he decides he can come and meet me in Cambodia. Still I miss him soo much. I'll have to get that international calling card tomorrow and call. Hopefully that will relieve some of the missing you 'pain'.

And it's JUST 4 WEEKS AND 3 DAYS UNTIL I LEAVE... Can't wait, will buy the final leg of my ticket this week and then it's only a few other things I need to get done before I am completely ready to go.

I have finally and completely moved out of my place and am staying with a friend of mine - Julianne. I left my key on the bench and said 'See Ya', dunno if he knew it was my final good bye - probably not, but I'm gone - free as a bird. I'm using Julianne's place as a 'base' until I go. Which is excellent, she makes me so welcome and really has looked after me. Plus she's given Summah such a good home, & she's so happy! Ahh.... What more could I want??

Ah life is good, soon I will be on my way. The only little bit of sadness is Mark going back to the UK, but we both have to follow our own adventures & dreams that are taking us in different directions for a while, and hopefully we shall meet again soon.

Ahh, things seem to go from bad to worse at this place I have been living at, as you know from past entries, Jahe is a freak, and not a very nice one to say the least. But I don't think I have mentioned anything about the puppy that he owned. Gorgeous dog - similar looking to the one in the picture, although hugely timid, affraid of people, and Jahe it would've seemed as well....
Anyway things were happening that weren't so good, and the treatment of her by him that I had seen & heard, coupled with her behaviour, led me to believe that he was beating his dog - usually when him and I had a confrontation of one sort or another, or when he was upset about something else... A way to release anger maybe, but whatever the reason, it's never right to beat a being - be it animal or person - especially one that relies on you for everything, trusts and loves you unconditionally. A being that by taking to live with you, you've made a promise to give it a good safe home and be sure that it grows well and is happy.
So not knowing what else to do, and knowing that I couldn't live with myself if I ignored what seemed to be going on, I called the RSPCA. They came around and saw Wunja (the puppy that is) and she didn't seem to be injured as she was running around the back yard, seemingly footlose and fancy free. They didn't get the chance to have a close look at her, or speak with Jahe, but assumed that she was ok, and the report I made was finalised.
Until I called this morning and asked them to re-investigate, as Wunja is now dead. How could you do that? How could you even think of doing something like that?
I suppose that making another report leaves my living situation in a bit of a precarious position, but as of Monday I will be gone... Maybe I should stay away as much as possible until then.
It's just a sorry state of affairs all round in that place. If only I'd have been a better judge of character I wouldn't be in this situation. Maybe if I had've handled it differently she would still be alive now. Too many ifs and buts, and now it's all a bit late. I can't wait to get away from here and just leave everything behind. This trip wasn't supposed to be a running away from something, but now it seems a little like it is.

I can't wait to be on that damn plane, with those nice thai air hosts. Oooh to be away from here and have everything done already.... Soon my precious, soon.

What a bloody pain in the arse the weekend has been! But at least the major work of putting things into storage is done! I've been packing all of mine that I want to take and can still find. It's been a little hard to do seeing that Jahe the Terrible has moved most of my things around at one stage of me living there or another. But what the most annoying and upsetting thing this weekend was..... Was the fact that the digeridoo that was given me when I went north to see our fair land, has walked out of my bedroom. I'm pretty sure it was the terrible one, but couldn't find it in his room (Mark had a quick squiz when he went out yesterday). Ah well, what can you do other than write it off as gone? At least I found my clay tools and the chopsticks turned up mysteriously after I had pulled everything out of the cupboards 3 times, and then asked the terrible one if he knew where they were. Apparently I hadn't looked hard enough. Hmmm. No comment was made by me, although my head was spinning with insults I could have given. Really I'm rather proud of myself for not smacking him in the mouth.
It was also my nephews 4th birthday on Sunday. Seeing that mothers day is a non event in my family - it's hard to celebrate without a mother - ha ha - it was good to do the kiddie birthday instead. Luckily we got there a little late and most of the kids had gone home. But of course Brodie was still there, so I spent most of my time playing in the sand-pit, pretending to be a car, playing cars, and then finally I was nominated to give him his bath so it was playtime in the bath as well. - How many stories can you make up about a plastic turtle and a duck? Still it was a load of fun, but there is no way I would have the energy to do it every day. Yvette and Paul are champions!
Mark goes back to the UK in a week. It's been nice having him here, but it will also be good to be able to focus more on what I need to do when he goes. It has been great having him here - I can't express that enough, but it will also be good to have my own head space back. I don't think that I am cut out for living with people...no matter how close they are to me.
So I move outta my place the same day that Mark goes, and will be dossing with friends for the final 4 or so weeks that I am here. It'll be good to get away from the stress of my place, and also get me used to living out of my backpack while I still have the opportunity to have an extra bag or two! Next week I will be at the place where Summah is now living, and it'll be damn fine to be able to say good bye properly to my hound... Well she's not mine anymore, but you know what I mean! Plus - of course - stay with Julianne and make her even more jealous about my travels!! Ha ha.
It'll be pretty much the same with most people I stay with -my final chance to say Adios! Unless I have a going away party, but I dunno yet, have to ask a mate if he'd be willing to have it as his seeing that I'll be homeless shortly!
Ah well not much else to write, other than the weekend, life has been pretty good, counting down the days, and things I have to do before I go. All I can say is BRING IT ON!!

All systems GO! This week has involved a whole lotta packin, spiced up with some housemate aggravation, and nicely topped off with a little more Mark.
I suppose I should explain all that... The packin' bit is easy - I've been sorting through all my life?s mementos, and have been dutifully packing them away for storage. Aaron is kindly going to pick them up for me this weekend and store it all at his until my return - or until I settle somewhere and ask him to send them to me. The second option being a little more remote, but still in the realms of possibility.
The housemate aggravation has been an ongoing thing since that house-warming party. Oh deary me! He hasn't spoken to me - excepting the occasional grunt - since then, and has instead chosen to leave me nasty notes when he feels the need to communicate. Apparently I am a despicable & disgusting person. Maybe I am, but I'd prefer he told me that rather than writing me a note and leaving it for me to find on my return from work. Anyway, it would seem that me selling my stuff rather than giving it to him free of charge, and not putting meat in the compost bin, amongst other similar things, has caused most of the discord in the house.
In addition to the notes though I have begun to find that a few boxes of my things - namely my clay tools and a few personal nik-naks have gone missing. I'm beginning to think that Jahe has snaffled them, as he did with a few of Very's things. Reason being I knew exactly where they were, and they've walked from there. Seemingly on their own. I have asked Jahe, but he says he has no idea whilst desperately avoiding eye contact with me... Suspicious. I also asked Very if he had accidentally picked them up when he moved the last of his things, but they're not there either. Tonight I'll make my final search with a torch and going through every box I can see, if they don't turn up I'll have to write them off as lost even though I know for sure I moved them into the shed. It's a couple of hundred dollars worth of tools and things...
It's gotten to a point that I'm going to have to move out, well before my expected travel date and stay with mates for those last few weeks before my departure. Se La Vie! At least it will give me the chance to say a proper good bye to every one before I head off into the wild blue yonder for who knows how long?
And the Mark thing - well that's pretty self explanatory I would think, but anyhoo... He extended his ticket again, for another two weeks and now leaves on the 17th. Yay in that I get to have even more time with him. But at the same time it's a little concerning as he needs to get back to the UK to complete his college application and have it in in time. If he doesn't get into college, I may not see him again for years to come! And then these two weeks would be a complete let down... With a past view of course, as I do love having him around. So we shall see what happens with that. Reason I may not see him if he doesn't get into this teaching course is that he may come back to Australia to a sponsored work placement with Moose, or go travelling around Canada for a year or so, returning to the UK when I have to leave!
Ah well, either it's meant to be or it isn't. No use fretting over it now.