This was supposed to be a Tuesday blog, but seeing that Tuesday turned out to be quite busy, it is now a Wednesday blog.
Anyway, do ya like my little backpacker? This will be me in a few months, weighted down by my pack. I packed it for the first time on Monday night and fortunately can get everything I really want to take in it, with some room to spare. Am a little uncertain if I am going to be able to carry it all around, but figure it shouldn't be too hard, and I'll probably develop muscles where I didn't know I should have them. Ha ha, I'll return looking like a wrestler. Heh heh heh that's funny.
This week has been pretty quiet aside from some hassle with finalising the old house. According to the real estate agent it wasn't cleaned properly and not everything has been removed from the property... Al assures me it was and refuses to pay for a cleaner, so at present we are at odds as to what happens next. I guess I wait for the real estate agent to get back to me as Al has asked him to go back around to inspect again saying that the first inspection was done before he'd finished moving. I suppose we'll find out today as he (the agent) is supposed to be calling me back with a quote on the cleaning, if it does actually need to be done again. If not and it's just a matter of getting rid of the stuff Al left behind and I should be able to get over there early Saturday morning to throw whatever it is out. Plus I book my ticket on Saturday - if the travel agent is open - then it's off to Juliannes with Summah to see how she gets along at their house and if they can take her for me when I go away. Saturday is looking so busy already... Arrgh! At least this weekend is a long one.
Trying to quit smoking this week. I have set Friday as the day that I stop completely, this week has been a matter of cutting down. I was supposed to have my first smoke free day today, but didn't quite make it. Ahh well, I'll keep at it. Should quit before I go - will save more if I'm not paying for tobacco and other smoking paraphernalia all the time.
Am off to the doctor at lunchtime, still getting hideous pain in my belly and I should check if he can do my travel inoculations. Would be so much easier than going all the way to Heidelberg.
Anyway that's me, not a lot going on really, but lots to do. Weird.

Soon, my pretties, I will have my 'Decree Absolute'. This means I will be well and truely, completely and wholely, totally and absolutely DIVORCED! YAY!! So be prepared for a quick call - on a school night - asking you to arrive at mine for an absolute vodka night. A night of drinks and laughs and no men... Well possibly my housemates Jahe and Very, but I can't exactly kick them out as they also pay rent and live there.
So Stay tuned!

Ahh Monday AGAIN! There are definitely more Mondays in my weeks than Saturdays and Sundays... At least it feels like it today.
Weekend was a good one, nice and relaxing.
On Friday night I stayed in and had the house to myself! So I had a couple of beers, a spliff or two and did some cleaning. Such an exciting life! But it was nice having the house to myself. Quite peaceful energy with no-one else around. Got the chance to do some writing and chill in my own space. Was love-er-ly!
Jahe got up the next morning in a foul mood that he felt the need to share with Very and I. Not wholey appreciated, so I went out for a long dog walk along Merri Creek to the beginning of St Georges Rd. A nice walk through parkland, with Very & Summah who enjoyed herself plus it was good for me to get out of the house for an extended period to somewhere calm like that.
So the rest of Saturday was spent doing washing and the like until late afternoon when I left to go to my cousins place in Bacchus Marsh for a BBQ. Was a nice evening, but for some reason I was put on the kids table along with my brother and his wife who - like me - also aren't that fond of little children. So we were left to supervise and look after them while the parents and couples that DID want or do already have kids had a lovely child free meal! What's that about I ask? A plot to keep the kid lovers loving kids by not having to deal with them... Hmm. Crafty!
Sunday was a treat day. I stayed in bed til late and then went and saw a movie with Michelle - Brother Bear was the movie of the day. Not bad, I do have a soft spot for the od cartoon, but it wasn't anywhere as good as what I had anticipated. Not to worry it wasn't a complete dead loss of a day, and again nice to get out and about doing something that didn't involve lots of cash at the pub!
Today was my final appraisal - well not final, but appraisal for the past 6 months. Had a good old chat and have passed probabtion, although I was told that earlier on this month with my pre-appraisal. So no huge surprises there. But was good to sit and have a chat, talk about me going away and (as I think I wrote last week), I have already been able to make a start on organising some programes to look at while I am away. So all is good in my world.

Just wondering what the hell these have to do with the end of the work week.....




Friday at last! Bring on the days that I don't have to be awake before 7! So looking forward to staying in bed tomorrow... So tired. Too many nights out this week. What an old person I am becoming!

Reception relief - the perfect time to blog seeing that there's nowt all else to be doing.. Not that I am complaining, got all my work finished pretty quick today, it's only those damn outbound calls that I have to have a crack at this afternoon. So much for the 'just a bit of outbound calling, not much' that I was told in the interview.... What a sucker I am, almost every day I have to call some geezer about joining us, or debit details. Arrgh!
Anyways, what have I been up to? Not a hell of a lot really. Last night was a quiet one, got on the bike and rode to the supermarket with Jahe, first time since I fell off. So I'm even less confident than when I first tried. But I need to get over this stupid childhood fear, and mybe rid myself of my accident prone-ness at the same time... Possibly I am expecting too much from this bike.
I have started to organize myself a little better for this going away business. Today I get to meet with some of the people from programes to sort out a visit to them when I get to S.E Asia, which is brilliant. I have organized a dentist and accountants appointment for a few weeks time. So I can find out about making my trip tax deductable, and setting up a company that I can get paid by when I go to work in the UK. Or at least find out if it is worth my while to do that. Dentist is not the favorite of the appointments - it means fillings and needles... Not looking forward to it but I expect having dental problems whilst in Nepal or Laos would be much worse. Then it will be injections and inoculations for things like rabies... Fun to be had!
So things are chugging along well, will probably book my ticket weekend after this one, and start to pay that off. Need to start saving a little more, but after setteling in from the move I am finally able to do that. All is going well!
Oh and power of attorney - have to remember to get that done before I go too.. Still plenty of time yet... sorta.
We have organised to have out housewarming party on the 20th of March, now that Very has moved in! It's a pretty good household. The guys are clean if strange, and it's a comfortable atmosphere. Very is slowly sorting out his stuff and the front porch is re-emerging from the depths of old newpapers, coathangers, and other miscellaneous rubbish.
Anyway that's about it, you can't expect too much to happen in just one night!!

I should be doing other things, but lets take a look at some art from around Cambodia, Vietnam and Loas...

Firstly Cambodian artwork:



Now for something a little different (ha ha)- Vietnam:

Wednesday - hump day - I wish! But no, seriously, at least we are at the 'top of the hill' and now it's just a short roll to Friday.
This week has been good though so far, and I expect it'll continue in the same vein. Sunday I stayed in and did some gardening and housey things with my new house mate Jahe. Am getting along well with him, only thing is he says he 'hates' English people and England. Don't know where this animosity comes from, but in any case it's not a good start for lots of my friends... Ach well, he'll have to get over it, or else just keep to himself when the English come to stay. Ha ha, that sounds so weird.
Monday was plum picking. The tree in the back yard is so laden with fruit that the branches are practically laying on the ground. So we picked all we could that were ripe or near too, and then Jahe made Jam. I bought the stuff and he did the work - not a bad arrangement I don't think. It's yummy jam, but I think there is something wrong with me today because my toast tasted like I had parmesan cheese on it this morning, not plum jam... Hmm. Still ate it though. Mmmm cheesy plums.
Yesterday Very finally moved in. He has so much SHIT, you can hardly get around the house at the moment, hopefully it will be sorted when I get home tonight and I will once again be able to use the front porch for sitting and smoking again...
I went to the 'Wheel of Beer' last night. Was a good evening. Caught up with Liam & Ethne, Sarge & Alison, Zorb and someone else - sorry don't know who you are. Chatted with Liam and Ethne for a while though, grilling them about their trip to S.E asia especially Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia. From the sounds of it 3 months should be long enough to have a good look and have loads of fun too. So Ankor Wat will be on the list of things to see, along with those rice bank initiatives, and of course some beach time... Gotta relax at some stage don't you? Can't wait! Think I will book my ticket this weekend and start paying it off - a bit more motivation for the savings factor... Which although going well, could be going much better.

Everything has fallen on top of me today. I don't know why, but I feel like throwing the whole of today into the 'too hard basket'. Maybe it's just because it is Monday, although I was fine when I woke up...
Mind you it wasn't until I got to work and found out that I still don't have a safe home for Summah, and I feel like I am fast running out of time. Maybe I am putting too much pressure on myself over this? But she needs a home when I go, otherwise I'll have to stay... I don't want to stay. I want to go, the sooner the better.
Hopefully something will come up soon... Before I book my ticket preferably.

Pining.....Yearning... desiring...wanting.... needing....waiting....


I've been thinking (no my head didn't explode, nor do I have a headache) about this pining conundrum. I was speaking with Mark last night, and as you are probably all aware there is a bit of an attachment going on between us although I wouldn't be calling him my partner, boyfriend or anything in that realm, we'll just stick with the celebrity favorite - we're just GOOD friends.
Anyway, was talking to him last night and he was saying that he is sick of pining after something he can't have because it's either too far away, or for whatever other reason. I can relate to that, pining after something you 'can't have' doesn't make you feel good. But as much as I care for him, miss him and wish that he wasn't on the other side of the world, I wouldn't say that I've been pining. Thinking about him yes, letting that stop me from doing the things I want and need to do - no. You just get on with your own life don't you? Whatever happens happens. Maybe things will work out at some point in the future where we do want to consider some sort of loose partnership, but then maybe it wont so what is the point in worrying about things that really you have no control over? You just take what comes and put in place plans for what you want to achieve so the rest of it should work itself out.
I mean who's to say that when I do eventually get to England that he wont be in a loving supportive relationship already? Or that I will meet someone and fall for them before I get to the UK? So many possibilites that there's no point bothering with all the ifs and buts. I guess you should just focus on what you want in life. So for me that's travel, then a house somewhere in the courty side that I can have a veggie patch big enough to feed myself from, maybe a goat or cow or two (maybe not cows as I am scared of them). Put that plan into action and whatever else happens along the way, both good and bad, simply be happy to have had the experiance, and with a little luck and bit of work learn from it all. It doesn't mean that I care for him any less, whichever way the 'chips' fall I hope they turn out the way he wants, and for me too, but that doesn't mean to say that I should pine, or put my life on hold, or rearrange things for the possibility that may or may not be there for the two of us. And neither should he. So the pining should stop, it's something that can't be changed at this point so it needs to be let go of. Wouldn't you agree?

What a gorgeous week it has been! Weather wise as well as everything else wise. And Friday has come around so quickly!
On Wednesday Ian and Ricci came over for dinner. Ricci is dieting for her wedding in April so I didn't have to cook for her, just Ian and myself! Yummy food, good company, what more could you want?
Yesterday was my divorce hearing. I was done pretty quickly which was good, was expecting to be there until at least after lunch, but it was all over by 11am, so I had the time to start sorting out flights and visas for my O.S stint. Looks like I will be able to sort it all out myself, without needing to borrow any cash off friends or family. I can get a one way ticket - no need for a return flight where the return bit is written off! So that means a saving of about $1500 - NOICE! I have to renew my passport today as it is due to expire in May 2006. But I can just go to the post office for that and then they post it to me in around 2 weeks time. As soon as that comes back I will be applying for my UK work visa, and should be paying off my flight by then too. It's all coming together and is so much easier than I first thought! So yesterday afternoon after getting my divorce, seeing the different travel agents and stopping in at the passport office I spent the afternoon looking through travel brochures, filling in forms and writing down things I need to do between now and then to make sure everything is taken care of before I go.
Summah won't be going to Sylvias' brothers place anymore - they have decided to buy a puppy. But no need to dispair yet! Sylvia is still on the case - bless her heart! She said that she knows a few people through her horsey connections that may well be interested in taking her and these people don't have kids, so it may well work out a lot better than first expected. I guess it's just a case of wait and see. But I have confidence that it will work out one way or another. Steve reckons he is still looking into getting her across to England, but monkeys may also fly out of my butt! (Just stealing expressions from Waynes World, don't mind me...) But if he does get his act together, then I am still more than happy for her to go there. I just doubt that it will occur.
Tonight is dinner with Alison, Sarge and the rest of that crew. It should be a nice one catching up with those guys - it's been a whole week since we've seen each other - Ha ha! But I am also going to see Josh on Saturday whom I haven't seen in an age. Both of us have just been busy with life, so there will be lots to talk about. Dinner and a movie or something relaxed like that sounds best to me.
I suppose I should do something about catching up with Jess and those guys at some stage soon too. Have to keep it all together, keep people together for ever and ever - ah huh... (bit of Madonna for you as well!)
Very moves in this weekend - which means we can start organising a house warming party shortly. We'll have to sort out the shed and possibly have a garage sale before we do that. But I am so excited about having a party at this new place - it's just such a good place for having everyone around for a good time in!
And then only about 3 months after that and it will be time for my going away party! Remember you are all expected to dress up as your favorite thing. Shouldn't be too hard and you have plenty of time to decide what to wear.
Well work beckons, and I should probably make a good dint in it today... Have the energy and possitivity. Everything is sailing along.

Take a bus from Ho Chi Minh, or a train.... I think the bus.
Or what about a rickshaw??

Or the original plan which was bus and bike? After last nights episode?? Ah can't be scared of one little stack can I?


Should definitely have a look at some of the art.




Somewhere to stay? In the temple??

Came a gutsa on my bike last night - Ouch. Am limping around the office today grazed and sore. I feel like I am about 6 with skun knees, hands & face. But at least it wasn't on the road, and I didn't get run over as well. Still, I will have to get the bike fixed and try again... Also earlier in the evening I got stuck in the tram tracks! Scared the crap out of me, but I didn't lose it.... Kept that one for later in the evening.



The Swing dancing classes haven't gone ahead.. They were too far away, we were already late and so we piked and went to the pub - probably half the reason that I fell off. But it wasn't a hugely pissy evening, just 1 bottle of wine between the 2 of us, a bit of pub tellie - Sex in the city - and then home again home again, jiggity jig.
Steve called this morning. Wasn't really feeling up to talking to him, but he said that he still wasn't sure about the dog - every time he calls about this there is another obstacle, this morning it was that he lives with his Mum, and he's had to send a photo to Defra so they can decide if she is allowed across due to being part pit-bull. So I've told Sylvia to give my number to her brother, so that I can sort out her home. Enough of being stuffed around. I think she will probably be better there anyway, he may not have a home to give her when she arrives from the sound of it.
So all systems are go, and things are getting done... Time is starting to pass so quick! Soon I will be away. Bring it on!

What a crazily hot weekend it has been! Not the best of days on Saturday to do the final clean of the old house, but all is finally done - and dusted! So damn hot, but still I can't complain as this is what we have all been wanting on those days that it has rained.... People are never easy to please are they?
Was a reasonably quiet few days. I went round to the old house, and aside from cleaning, set up a blog site for Al, got pretty stoned with Al as well... But it just meant I paid more attention to detail with the cleaning - hopefully we shall get all bond back! That'd be a goodun! So he was happy with his site, and I was happy to be able to stall the cleaning - or have an extended break doing something other than weilding a rag and spray bottle. Although may I ad that it was quite a fetching site, me there in some grotty clothes with a sponge in one hand and a bucket, or bottle in the other. Grrrl!
On Staurday night it was going away drinks for Pete... Bye Pete, sorry that you're going. It was soo damn hot! I got a bit pissy and thought it was really late, so left - head was starting to pound from too much alcohol and not enough water. But after leaving I realized it was only 11pm, so was able to catch a tram and get an early night. Mind you I got home and decided to give Mark a call - he wasn't there but his brother Lee was, so I ranted to him for about 15 minutes while he was trying to make his breaky... He must think I'm a little strange seeing I have never met him before. Still it's excusable.
Sunday I tried to sleep, Saturday night was so warm! I think I managed to doze, but didn't actually sleep until the morning, and didn't get out of bed until about mid day... Love Sunday, it's my slobbing around day.. Got my chores done though and managed to have a little nap as well before going to the Cuckoo

for Aarons 30th Birthday dinner. A strange strange world was entered upon arrival at the restaraunt.... It's a German/Bavarian style place with a floor show and all you can eat buffet. Yummy food - weird entertainment. Slap dancing and yodelling seem to be the specials of the day. Was a laugh though and the people were nice. Smiling waiters etc. Although I did try to steer clear of the head waiter.
Linc, Brigitta and I got there a little early so we dumped our stuff at the table and went directly to the bar for a pre dinner beer. Whilst waiting there this old guy (head waiter) comes up close behind me, and says "Excuse me, did I hear you say that you were going to buy me a drink?" So I said "Sorry, no, you must be getting quite old and need your ears checked, I didn't say anything" So then Linc got involved and said " I thought you said you were going to buy HER a drink". The old man/waiter turned to me again and said "Is that your Dad?" I said "No, it's my brother" Waiter replied "Well you can't choose your relatives can you?" Linc piped up and said "No, but you can choose your waiters" So the old dude finally left us alone... Mind you this man was dressed in shorts with braces , long socks, and I think sandals... Need I say more?? A fetching look almost as good as my Saturday cleaning clothes! Ha ha.
So now it's Monday again and I am kind of wondering what happened to my weekend. I wanted to do so many other things - get out in the backyard, maybe pick up some of ther fruit that has fallen from the trees. Tidy up the house a little more too. But alas and alack, it didn't happen. Am sure I will have a chance this weekend. Nothing huge planned yet, maybe just a movie with Michelle somewhere. Will have to see how it pans out. Will be socking away some more cash for my trip, and will need to come into Fitzroy to pay for and collect my back pack - it's still waiting in the shop for the final $60 payment. Oh I am also supposed to go into Crystal Heart on Saturda for some more healing by Michel, but am a little sceptical about some of the things he was talking about. Some were spot on, others I feel that he was fishing around for something rather than being 'guided by a higher consciousness'... Shall go along though, either way, as with last time, I should be able to take something good away with me from it.

Showing Al about Blogging. This is fun, well much more fun than cleaning!

Beautiful Thailand - my first stop in the long trek around the world... Well parts of it at least!




White beaches.... Maybe I won't go stright from there to Vietnam, should probably have a little look around...





Forests... Reminds me I should get that list of national parks... Hmmm

Friday at last! Although I feel like I am wishing my life away when I look forward to Fridays as much as I have this week... Although nothing particularly awful has happened, I've just wanted to stay at home and sleep this week. Maybe I am deficient in iron? In any case I made a Drs appointment today so next week I should know if I am sick, or just a whinger.
Was going to have a quiet night tonight, but I rang Luce yesterday and seeing that I haven't seen her since she got back from England, and on top of that Dr Ash is going to be around there, I've decided to make the effort and haul arse over to Richmond tonight. Won't be a late one though as I have to get up early and go to Port Melbourne for the all important final house clean. Then it's just final bills and I can wipe my hands of that side of town! Yippee!
I don't think I am doing anything on Sunday though so a sleep in will definitely be the order of the day, and possibly an afternoon nap...
I will finally have an answer from Steve on Sunday about the hound and what he has decided he can do. It's looking more and more like he wont be able to take her, so she'll be off to Caulfield. I'll have to make some time to visit her over the next few months that I am in Australia. But I think this family is probably the best bet for her. We'll see how it goes - it's a 2 week trial basis for starters.
I'm going to book my ticket to Bangkok next weekend, and probably go visit the UK embassy on Thursday after I have been to court.
It sounds all grown up going to court to represent myself, and buying tickets to far off lands. I suppose I am grown up now - hell I'm 27 - but I don't feel old. Then saying that makes me feel like one of those dirty old men who say they feel like an 18 year old still, and unfortunately they back that up with their behaviour. I wouldn't want to be 18 still, or again. But with 30 just around the corner it's a little daunting looking at my life and what I have achieved... experience I guess but not much else.
Hmmm. When I was 5 I thought I would be happily married now with a few kids... Glad I was wrong!

A strange day today, almost stayed in bed - sore tummy again... but managed to drag myself into work anyway. Am feeling happy, but just not very well. Have to remember to book that Drs appointment. Hate going to the Dr though... They always percribe you something or other and then I have to try and remember to take pills. Hate all that malarky. Anyway, should go and find out what's up with me anyway.

Need to start getting Ian & Riccis wedding present sorted out as well... Must have them around first though so they can say yay or nay to what I intend to make for them... Should be able to do that next week though. Hmm and then start organising what I will need if they want to go ahead with it. It will be fun to make. Should make Ians present as well at the same time... Something to make sure he doesn't forget about me when I piss off O.S. Oh it's a photo album by the way. Was being a little bit mystical there wasn't I?

I went around to Lizs' last night (her place is gorgeous!) and she's lent me her spare bike until I go away. I need to sort out a light and chain for it, but it goes well, and last night it took me maybe 1/2 an hour to get home to mine rather than the hour it takes me on public transport. So I will be able to buzz around the city visiting people so much more easier than I am able to at the moment! What luck! The universe provides... Having good friends helps as well.

I'm on reception today (well now) for ages. Lunch won't happen until about 3 for me. But that's ok, I'm not particularly hungry anyway. Didn't have dinner last night either, just a glass of that Eno stuff, the bubbly epsome salts and crashed out. Tried to tune my tellie to the video first though. After about 40 minutes of twiddling this bloody stupid press and turn knob I gave up. It's still not tuned, and on top of that, the chanels that were now aren't there either! Bugger. Something I will have to try again tonight... ARRGH. I'm not good with these types of things as it is!

Well that's everything that has been going on with me. I know, I know, it's exciting and you all wish that you were living my life of fame and fortune....

Tired today and feeling a little sick. Should've gone to bed earlier. Think I may tonight after picking up the bike.
Other stuff happening, but will blog later.

Well well! Today again is a goodun. Not too much to do at work, and I may get some filing done later today, which although is not the most fun in the world, it will be a relief to get all this damn paper work off my desk! Am staying late so one way or another there will be time to do it.
Had some healing and room cleaning last night courtesy of Michell. Was so good of him to come around and sort it out for me. Although I do wonder how much is 'real' and how much is in his head as he didn't pick up on the suicide in the driveway. I didn't say anything about it though. Plus the healing seems to have done something at least and I feel as though I am making progress on myself again. And he did point out some valid and useful things that I could do with sorting out. So either way I think it is worth my while, and he's not a bad sort.
I will go for another session with him week after next - once I have had my divorce hearing. Although I don't feel so dubious about it now, just wish it was done already. Is a pain in the arse that I have to take the day off just to go into court. Ach well such is the way of the world.
Still I think I should book an appointment with this lady that Ian recommended. Would be worth getting a second opinion.
Am starting to organise the little niggling things that i need to do before i go. Like visit the doctor for shots, see the dentist (Arrgh!), and something else which escapes me at present. Still I have just over 4 months to sort it out, which should be plenty of time...
It's coming up so quickly though! Still I know I will make it because I am supposed to go.

Monday, seems that the weekend was only 1 day instead of 2.. It always goes too quickly, and always on Monday morning when the alarm goes off Summah looks at me like "Do we HAVE to get up so EARLY??"
Still it was a good one. Quite day on Sunday - got to catch up on sleep which was nice. On Saturday I went around to Dad's and got a little pissed, but had a good time. Was one of the better visits. Had a chat with him about all sorts of things, cut his hair for the last time in a long time, and had a good day. Was worth getting up so early and going down there.
Michell is coming around tonight to 'clean' my room. Should be interesting to see what he says about this house. I wonder if he will pick up on the suicide that happened in the driveway... Maybe her spirit has already gone though, who knows, will find out tonight. Later this week or maybe on the weekend I will get sdome 'healing' from him, but maybe not, I may leave that until I see the woman that Ian recomended.
I asked Marie on the weekend if she would come around at the end of the month and help me sort out a budget so that I can begin saving more for my trip O.S. So hopefully she will be able to sort out where I am 'wasting' money and sort out some sort of plan that I can stick to which means I will still be able to go out every now and then, but save heaps more than I am at the moment.
Anyway seeing that it was a quiet weekend there isn't that much more to write about. I'm turning a bit boring. Still missing Mark and haven't spoken with him since Thursday. Not to worry though. Am getting used to him not being around, although I keep dreaming about him and he's never far away from my thoughts.

Friday friday friday! Woo Hoo, I'm dancin', it's happy end of the week day! Although no sleep in tomorrow, have to go visit Dad and do the family thing one last time. Should be good though. Aaron is going to pick me up from Dandenong, so I don't have to go all the way to Warragul on the train, thank goodness.
Am looking forward to having a quiet day on Sunday, enough of running around doing things - finally I can relax. Should probably sort out my things for court and get that all prepared, my hearing is just a week and a half/2 weeks away. But that wont be too much bother, just a matter of finding the file and putting it somewhere handy. Already have my respectable court outfit ready - hopefully it wont be too hot that day...
And also hopefully I wont be hanging around court all day waiting for my hearing so that I can spend the afternoon talking to travel agents.. Am thinking about getting a round the world ticket. Shall see how I go with that though and comparable prices with doing the flights a bit at a time. Guess I wont really know until I get there though. Probably will be best to just get my flight to Bangkok, depends on visa requirments really. Shall have to see as the internet has been surprisingly unhelpful with that.
Anyway not much to do at work today except these bloody outbound calls. Am getting through them reasonably quick though which is good. Had better get back to it though.

Well the card didn't get made, I went to bed instead. But I am feeling better for it today and will make it tonight and send it tomorrow. Hopefully it will get there on time... Should do I would think.

Am looking forward to the weekend - finally some warm weather! Feels like summer again! I'm going down to Dad's on Saturday so it'll be a definite to take my bathers with me and have a swim while I am there! Yay, I love summer, almost as much as Autumn.

Work is good, have finally finished the first draft of those procedures I was writing. Hopefully they make sense, will have to try them out on colleagues before passing them onto my boss Sylvia. It's all pretty straight forward though, I think.

And tonight at last a night off where I finish work at 5 and can just relax and do the usual thing when I get home instead of running around like a mad woman!

So tired today... Definitely will be having an early night tonight, although I'll be making a card before I go to sleep.

Went around to Sarge & Alisons last night. Had a delicious dinner and gave Alison a haircut , which hopefully is like she wanted it.... She said she was happy and it was even all over, no holes in it... She packed me left overs for lunch today as well. She is the sweetest girl! Love her!

Called Mark while I was there, but he was on his way to work so I called again this morning. He keeps telling me that I should get to Europe earlier than what I have planned to. Although I miss him more than anything, I can't just go straight there. I promised myself no more changing or rearranging my plans for someone else, no matter how much I care for them. It just means I'd end up regretting not doing the things I want and need to do. I so wish that he wasn't so far away though... Oh well it's probably a good thing, and you never know how things are going to turn out do you?

On Monday Aaron (my brother) told me that he couldn't look after Summah while I was away O.S. I stressed all day Monday about what I was going to do. But I spoke to my boss about it on Tuesday and she said her brother would be really happy to take her, which was such a relief! It sounds like it would be a really good home for her too, it's with a family, their youngest is 5, but quite tall so hopefully Summah will be ok with her. The father is a builder and would take her to work with him every day, and they have a big back yard which is fenced in, so she'll have plenty of space and love. I called Steve this morning to see if he was still planning on taking her and if so when. But he's not working again and said first off that he wouldn't be able to take her for at least 6 months, which is no good to me as I will be long gone and far away by then. So I have given him the web site for importing pets to the UK, asked him to look at that and get back to me on Sunday with an answer. I'm thinking he will probably say no, even though she won't have to go through quarantine and it wont cost nearly as much as first expected. He's never been that responsible about things so why would he start now, no matter how much he professes to love her..? If it is no, I think I will let her go to the family sooner rather than later. That way if there are any problems I will still be around, plus I will be able to visit every now and then to make sure she is settling in ok. I hate to have to give her away, but if I won't change my plans for people how can I justify changing them for my dog, and this is something i have to do.. So it was a disaster narrowly averted!

Apart from that life has been pretty ho hum. The guy I have moved in with had been a little off with me over the last week or so, but I bought him some Lindt chocolates yesterday and thanked him for letting me move in, and that seems to have done the trick. Chocolates always work with me too.

Soon my virgin credit card will come through and I will be able to pay off the last of my debt a hell of a lot quicker than what I am with the National bank and their hideous interest rates! So life is good, the sun is shining again, and things are still on track!

So the changes haven't worked. Appologies if you had a look last week and were wondering what the hell I was on....

Weekend was good, stayed at home for the most of it and painted my room. It's now a royal kind of blue, depending on which paint shop you go to it's called 'High Tide' or 'Oxford Blue'. High tide is more romantic though don't you think? I did the skirting board, door and window frames in an egg yolk kind of yellow, and the door itself a lighter yellow. Looks soooo much better than the ripped wall paper that was there.

Caught up with a few friends I haven't seen in a while on Sunday, which was excellent, I just wish I had've had more time for catching up, but as per usual there were too many things to do.

Apart from that not much else has happened. Oh, I spoke with the Mark one last night and have changed my holidays to coincide with when he comes back for Ian & Riccis' wedding. So then I can spend a few days with him. He said that he'll come along to sort out my travel plans with me then, so I may leave the booking of my flight, or else go into the city on the weekend to see the travel agent and sort it out like that. I'll have to see how I go time and money wise though. Still need to give Ian some cash for Marks flight too... Seems like all I am doing at the moment is spending!! Not good when I am trying to save, but am getting there to my target of cash funds for my trip, it's just a bit of a panic at the moment, with the move and final bills etc.
I am going to pick up my back pack today though, which is exciting for me!! Knowing what I am like I will do my trial pack some time this week. But not tonight as I am going around to Lizs' new digs to celebrate the move and see what it looks like. I'm sure it will be gorgeous though!
The time is going to go so quickly - already it is Feb, and soon I will be on that plane. Oh can't WAIT!!

I nightmared last night. The guy who came around to my old place when I was looking for a housmate, rather than moving, and spoke about his sperm count for about 1/2 an hour was stalking me, and chasing me. Not good. Have no idea what it means... Maybe a guy with poor performing sperm is after me.. HOPE NOT!

Friday, and it's turned out pretty nice after the pouring rain this morning. Glad I wore my boots!

I had my 1st appraisal yesterday with my immediate boss. Went really well, she said I have passed my probation even though I technically have 1 month to go still. She asked if there was anything, worries or other I wanted to discuss with her, so I mentioned that I am planning on going OS for 2 years in June. She was suprised - I've only been here for about 4 months - but said that if I wanted to come back when I got back to Aus, and there was a position available, that she would employ me again in a flash! So that was a nice little boost! I also said that I was wanting to visit some Oxfam projects while I was going through Asia and she is going to talk to a few people in our programs department on my behalf to organise something for me which is brilliant news!! Everything is falling into place.
Today I am going to put my back pack on lay-by. It's only $130 but I can't afford it all at the moment and want to get it before it either goes off sale or sells out. It's an excellent one, heaps of pockets, day pack which zips on, the whole bit. Nice and light too.
Went around to Jessies last night and updated this blog - did you notice the differences? As well as setting one up for my family to see while I am away, and for Dad when he goes to Qld. There is a link for it so just click there if you wanna have a look. There is also a contact me link so once you've read what you want if you feel like emailing me you just click that little bit and it will sort you out with the email thing.
Spoke to Mark this morning - ended up being late for work, but was worth it and there was no trouble waiting for me when I did get in. He sounds really happy and is getting life sorted. Sounds like things are working a lot smoother for him there than when he was in Aus which is such a good thing. I do miss him though and can hardly wait until he gets back to Aus for a visit. Still time doesn't speed up for anyone, just like it doesn't wait.... Hopefully I will be able to sort out the phone shortly and then it will be that much easier to call.

Well I guess I should get back to work. I have been given more things to do - writing procedures for the batches that we process. Will have to confirm that with my boss and when and how she wants it done. But should be interesting and I like having the extra bit to do - means I don't run out of things to do at work and I stay interested.

Tonight I finally get around to Jessies place to fix this blog! I'm thinking a few changes are well over due to be made, as well as the need to set up a 'family viewing' blog. Should be good - and just in time for when Dad moves to Qld. All sycronized, which is the way of my life at the moment. Everything is happening as it should, or better.

Anyway, not much to say, no doubt will have a stoned ramble tonight whilst at Jessies place, you'll have to excuse that in advance... Ha ha, it's all good though.

Take me now to the beautiful land of Laos!



Let me shop in their markets.....



And let me learn about their ways and culture...

Travel Vietnam tips and things to see:

It's in your best interests not to drink the tap water, especially after flooding!

Avoid cyclo ride after dark.

Dress midestly and appropriately when visiting local dwellings and religious sites, etc.

Leave your valuables behind before a night out on the town, or going to the beach.

When crossing the road, especially in Ho Chi Minh city, always keep looking to the left and right and walk slowly!

Don't offer money directly to minority people - instead donate to a local charity or offer a small gift, such as pens.

However frustrated, don't loose your temper ("loosing face"), as it won't get you very far!

Try and sample at least once the delicious, local street food.

Alway ask permission first before taking photographs, especially in minority areas.

* * * * *
Sleeping out on deck on a boat in Halong Bay

Ordering custom-made clothes from the local tailor shop

Taking a slow cyclo ride through the French Quarter of old Saigon

Eat Pho ga (chicken noodle soup) at a street side noodle stalls.

Watch the traditional water - puppet performance in Hanoi.

Experience the Full-Moon festivities in the ancient town of Hoi An.

Drink rice-wine in the minority villages of the north

Take a koat along Hue's Perfume River, taking in the Royal Mausoleums.

Overnight in a homestay in the Mekong Delta's riverside orchards.

Barter for a bargain at Saigon's largest merket, Ben Thanh

Take a stroll through Hanoi's ancient old Quarter.

CAN'T WAIT, CAN'T WAIT, CAN'T WAIT!!!!

Ahh, you've gotta love Telstra don't you? I tried to get the phone connected at my new place yesterday, and was declined by AAPT... Had no idea why, as I had paid all my bills and it was just an electricity bill that was about a month over due, and only part there of owing. So I called Telstra to see if they would connect me. Only to discover that they had an outstanding bill in my name! After a little investigation I found that my final bill for my address twice before this one was still owing - news to me as I had never seen it. Reason I hadn't though was that they had sent my final bill for two addresses ago to my address prior to that. Stupid bloody company. Apparently it is my fault as well. Makes me mad!! Anyway, I'll pay it and get the phone connected through someone else, probably Optus as now AAPT wont let me try with them again. Bastard phone companies!!
Aside from that, life is pretty damn good! It's a beautiful day (again), Summah has settled in well at the new place and is starting to get along with the little puppy Wunja. She is so cute - a staffy boxer cross. More boxer than staff though, and such a dainty way of walking. Makes me smile just watching her. She's still pretty timid though. She'll follow me around and grab at my trouser legs to play, but as soon as you turn around to look at her she runs off! So sweet!
I have decided to paint my room blue, bright blue. Will do that this weekend if the weather stays nice. Should be able to finish it in one weekend and have it all ready for my cupboard when it finally arrives! It's all looking pretty good though.
Dad goes to QLd in about 2 weeks. But my little brother comes back to Melbourne from Uluru about the same time. So it's almost like a trade of family members. It's soo good that he's coming back, I'll be able to spend my last months in Aus with my little Linc around. He's moving to Lygon street so not too far away from where I have moved to. Can't wait to see him again, I've missed the light that he brings to things.
So all is well in my small sphere. Am happily chugging along, will be able to sock more dollars away soon for my travels and Yvette and Paul will be putting money in my account before and while I am away which is even better! I'm gonna get my back pack and plane ticket soon which should give me that extra little bit of motivation! Going soon, the days are going by so quick.. So soon I'll be on that big plane!
But before that Mark comes back to visit - only 7 weeks away! So many good things happening now, and to look forward to!

Tuesday already... But I have moved now to my NEW HOUSE!! Tra La la lah! It's sooo good! Love it. My room is HUGE compared to where I was, and Summah is loving the enormous backyard. We're going to have a housewarming party once the other guy (Very) has moved in. (Oh and I found out what his second or last name is - impressive - Ha ha ha) Which will be brilliant, there is a massive shed out the back with a pool table and couches, so plenty of room for a good 'shin dig'.
So I'm almost settled after having 3 days to move and organise my things at the new place, I'm still waiting for some cupboards in my room, so it's still a bit of a mess, but organised chaos... I also get to paint my room whatever colour I want. So that will be my project this weekend. I'm thinking a bright blue with gold door, frames, skirting and window. Should look ok huh?
Dad moves to Qld in about 2 or maybe 3 weeks. That's happened pretty quick. My brother has bought his house down here, which is excellent. They're sorting all that stuff out now and soon Dad and Ann will be up the other end of the country. Good place for free holidays though! I'll be going down to Warragul though weekend after next to say good-bye. It will possibly be the last time that I see them before I piss off O.S
I buy my ticket for that soon too. Can't wait! I'll be jetting off before you know it!! Yay!

mmm... Halong Bay, Vietnam.... I'm going there!




Ho Chi Minh City, the bright lights and fast life of Vietnam? I'm told it's crazy - so what better place to start my travels and adjust to the life of a nomad?




Although I doubt I will stay somewhere as splendid as this...

And the chance to visit some of the projects we sponsor in Asia, rice banks, water sanitisation, something to keep me learning and thinking along the way.

It's Friday at last! Ahh the joy of the beginning of a long weekend, such bliss!
Finally I move - tomorrow, have been packing every night this week and am so over fitting my things into boxes and throwing away those superfulous things I have hoarded for the past few years. Feels good though to be minimizing my life. I just wish I could get rid of everything now instead of having to move it for a mere 6 months and then get rid of the rest when I am ready to go.
My sister and brother in law are coming around tonight to stay and help me move tomorrow. So nice of them to come and help. We're supposed to be going out somewhere this evening, have no idea what we will end up doing though, maybe Cherry Bar?
My brother and sister in law are coming around tomorrow to give me a hand as well, so it all should be done pretty quickly. Am looking forward to settling in the new place and making my new room a calm and light fillied place.
I'm so lucky that my family are helping, don't know how I would have done it otherwise.
Going out to lunch today with a friend of mine who leaves to go back to Scotland tomorrow. Everyone is going away! Maybe I should wash more often? But I will catch up with her again, make an effort to meet her in Scotland when I get over to Europe. It's nice having these friends all over the world, it really does make our globe a smaller place.
Haven't really spoken to anyone this week though as I have been so busy with the packing, and of course Mark leaving. I still can't believe he's not around. Last night I was packing up my clay room and listening to my headset while singing along with it - best way as I can't hear my own voice, only the music. Anyway, Summah started barking at the gate and I looked up, fully expecting Mark to open the gate and walk in. Only after I stood there for a few moments did I realize it wasn't possible as he is now on the opposite side of the world... Oh well only another 7 1/2 weeks and he should be back.
Well my boss has just walked in with morning tea, and as I am starving I should get into it before it's all gone....

Oh, what a day, and it's only 12... Got in a little late this morning thanks to a slow bus and a doctors apointment before work. But that was all ok, was to be expected and there was no trouble to be had over it.
But about an hour after arriving I got one of those 'A typical migranes' that I sometimes get - usually it'd come on at the end of the day, but not today. I was sat there at my computer slowly watching as my vision got more and more blurred, until finally I couldn't see what I was doing. Thankfully there is no pain with these... So I told Sylvia - my boss - who took me down to our sick room. I've never been to 'the sick' room in all my life, at any prior job, or school even. So I was told to lay down there for a while and come back when it had passed. So what did I do? What else is there to do when you are in a small dark room by yourself with only a bed? I lay down and promptly fell asleep! Next thing I know one of my colleagues is knocking on the door to see if I am ok. I wake with a start make some weird waking up noise ("mmmmwah?!"), wondering where the hell I am and wiping the dribble from the side of my mouth.
Embarassing, apparently I slept for about an hour, if I had've been left I would have slept all day! But at least that vision impairment has gone and I am feeling ok again. Can go back to work, and there is no sick leave form I need to fill out... So I guess I get paid for having a nap... Cool!

Mmm, forests, and beautiful beaches. I'll be there soon....

Today I promise pictures. Beautiful sunsets, beaches and temples. Possibly even some forest... But first I have to find again the HTML code so that I can link it... Still learning about this bloggy-ness. But will figure it out and will ad pictures in profusion, to dazzle and entice. Something to get me even more motivated about going away, far, far away....

Ahhhhh. Back at work. What a full on couple of days it has been.
Mark left to go back to the Uk yesterday, I was good and didn't cry at the airport - saved it till I got home and then had a blub. Feel a little lost today though, there is a Mark shaped hole in my heart now...
His going away party was on Saturday night - was a good one, went on and on until Sunday night. I think almost everyone he knew here turned up and said their fairwells, had a few laughs and drinks. It was excellent.
I guess now though, for me, it is complete concentration on getting my arse over seas. Trying to be a bit harder now so I can get away when I want with plenty of cash to do what I want. I should probably start talking to my bosses here about it to see if I can organise to check out some programs while I am away, and with Red Cross; if I can swing it with Ian. And hopefully when I get to Europe I will be able to get some work with an NGO of some type, maybe even OGB? That'd be nice. Definitely catch up with Mark if I can when I get there. I hate the thought of not seeing him again, although I feel like I will anyway. Feels like this is just a pause in things. Still that doesn't mean I am ok with it!
Handed in the rest of my divorce documents after going to the airport. So everything that can and should be done has been, and now I just wait for my hearing date. By the time I go up to Ian & Ricci's wedding I will be single again... finally after all that waiting and paper work and worry.
So it'll be blogs about how much I have saved, and what I am not going to in order to save a bit more cash each week. And pictures, I haven't added pictures in ages, so lots of inspirational pics of Vietnam, Laos, Nepal and India. And maybe I will figure how to ad my own pics when I am away, if I get a digital camera... Highly unlikely, but live in hope if you want to.

Leo July 24 - Aug 23

Fri January 16, 2004

Important messages might be delayed or even go astray. You can rely on the support of others to help execute your business plans. You will be doubly rewarded if you go out of your way to help others today. Your mind is rather cloudy at the moment, but this should lift soon.

Umm, yeah.... Suppose I should've helpped that old lady accross the road. Ha ha.

Today is gonna be good, I can feel it in my bones. As to the cloudy mind, they're a day behind.
Lunch today with an old friend, and hopefully some chance of getting that spare back pack she promised last time - must remember to ask her about that. Then I can start sorting out what I will pack and what I need to get rid of. But if the back pack isn't an option, I think I'll probably go shopping for one the same week I get my ticket to Vietnam... or maybe I'll fly to Bangkok, will have to see what the professionals say... And check with those friends that have done it all already.
Dinner at Jesso's tonight. She always makes something delish! So I'm looking forward to shareing a bottle of vino, and relaxing in their fine company. Also am going to sort out my blogs with her, and set up another one for family viewing... She's such a little gem of a person. Should be a good night.
Can't go too hard as I have to go shopping on Saturday with Woolvo to buy a going away gift for Mark. Have a few ideas of what I am going to get, but nothing that has struck me as the perfect gift yet.... Sure I will come accross something though, and Ian may have more of an idea than I about what we should get for him. Should make it that bit easier as I am not the best shopper.
Ah well must get back to work, what little there is of it....

Bored? Check this out, I particularly like the jigsaws....

http://games.yahoo.com/

But you have to click on 'more downloadable games' to get the jigsaws happening.

You should check this out. 80's quizzin'. Didn't do too badly with some, and kicked myself when reading the answers about others...

Looked like it was going to rain this morning, so I brought my brolly in with me, and now it looks fine, sunshiney, warm even. Ach well, if it does rain, I'm prepared, and if not, I can just leave it here.
I pick up my keys tonight for the new place, and pay my 2 weeks rent. Can't believe I am moving in less than 2 weeks. So much to do, but so good to be doing it!

What do the stars say about today?
Leo July 24 - Aug 23
Thu January 15, 2004

A truly romantic day as your lovable nature ignites passion in your partner. Make plans to spend some time alone, just the two of you. Try to finish any jobs you've been putting off, before starting anything new.

Ha ha! I seriously doubt this... With the finishing one thing before starting another - not a prob, but the igniting passion and all that guff, seriously doubt there will be any fires started, and if there are, I'd love to know who with. And also like to mention that with the water restrictions and dryness of summer, fire bans are probably in effect.
Anyway I'm happily single at the moment, not wanting anyone to interfere with my plans for myself. Whenever I get a boy hanging around things start to go wrong. I need to be in control of my own destiny, and sure of my own abilities and decisions before I even THINK about hooking up with someone else. I'm happy floating along where my fates pull or push me to. Can't see that I ever would be interested in marrying again, or living with anyone even... I like the idea of having my own space, if I want to invite someone over fine, but not as a permanent fixture.. too much hassle.
Ahh, can't believe what I just did! I've sent an email to some friends of some disturbing pictures, and also accidentally (still don't know how I did it) sent it to about 4 people in our finance department, including the manager of that area. I am going to be cained for this... Fuck! I called my friend though and told her, she's currently pissing her pants in laughter over it. What an idiot I am.

Wednesday, hump day, incoming mail day, and yoga day. And for all of that, it's a goodun. Life is good.
Had a nice walk in the park this morning with my beautiful hound. She's such a lovely 'little' hound. Well she's not little at all, but she's still my baby! Took my cuppa tea with my and had a play with her before finishing getting ready for work. I'm not going home straight after work, so am feeling a little guilty that she will be outside until about 10 or 11 tonight, but I'm sure she will be fine, and the best bit is that she will be well happy to see me when I get home. Not that she isn't usually...
I'm going out for a beer with a friend after work, which'll be good. Just a few and then off home. Have no idea what I should get myself for dinner when I get home though. At this time I'm thinking toast... Gormet of course - ha ha. Maybe I will eat out... Shall see.
Had my Yoga class today. Haven't been in ages coz of the way my work roster had been arranged, but am back at it now. Normally I don't really like it. But I actually enjoyed it today, and rather than skiving - like I initially thought I would - I am thinking I may just make up those other 2 classes I missed last term and then see how I go with just casual attendence. My back feels so much better for it, like I have given myself a massage.
The count down to when Mark goes has definitely started. Well it feels like a countdown anyway. Still he seems pretty positive about the whole thing, and I'm sure he will make the most of his change and do something good with it. I feel like Queen should be playing though... or is it someone else who sings that?
I sorted out me moving last night and this morning. My brother and sister are going to come around and help - which is excellent, and Michelle is going to pick up the stuff that she has baggsed so that I don't have to move it then have it moved again. I think I have gotten rid of most of the big things that I need to, and the other stuff (kitchen ware, crockery and the like) is needed at my new place anyway. So it sounds like it is going to work out really well and easily. I can't stop thinking how meant to be it is because it is all flowing so well. So I pick up my key on tomorrow and pay my 2 weeks rent, which is excellent... Am excited about going, it's like a first baby step towards going to Vietnam. Getting rid of all those things I have accumulated, in a weird way it's liberating.
Well almost the day has come to an end again - well the work day in any case. The time has been going so quick since Christmas/New Year went by. Before I know it I will be buying a ticket and then not long after getting on that plane! Can't wait, can't wait...

Thought I would take a leaf out of Phils' book and put my stars in today....

Leo July 24 - Aug 23

Tue January 13, 2004

Drastic financial changes are likely in joint ventures, so Lions should keep an eye on the ticker tape. Less financially occupied members of the Pride should forget about the hunt and head for fun outings, parties and pleasure jaunts. Influential people will be helpful in boosting your career prospects. Your kindness will bring you satisfaction and rewards.

And all I can say to that is Keh? So again they are telling me to stop spending? It's all they ever say for my stars, never, "go out and have a shopping spree, you need under wear...."
As to the promotion or boosting my career prospects, I'm completely uninterested, unless they are talking about prospects of working for Oxfam whilst in Europe... Now that'd be worthwhile...

Ah, I'm in such a good mood today - starting work a bit later may have something to do with it. I was still up reasonably early, walked the hound in the sunshine, paid the bills, put some money on my CC, and am ready to finally pay off my hand made boots! Very excited about that I am.
Was a little naughty yesterday and bought myself another skirt and pair of pants, as well as paying off the one I lay-byed last week. So now I have lots of things to wear. No more looking into the closet at lots of clothes that I can't wear anymore because of the weight I have put on. Not that I have become hugely fat, but there are some skinny skinny clothes in there. I think I will pass most of them onto my sister. Don't think I will be becoming skeletal again anywhere in the near future. Plus everything that I bought will be good for packing into a back pack and travelling with. But now there is nothing else I really need to get - other than under wear - so I will stop the shopping trips at lunch times and start some hard core savings like I promised at the start of the year.
I'm going to buy my ticket for Vietnam in Feb, I may even get a round the world ticket, not too sure about that yet. Am going to talk to the travel agents, or a few and see what the best way to do it is - flexibility and finance wise. But I can't wait. Can't wait at all! And it's still almost 6 months away! I've organised in my head what I want to take, what I will still need to get. Am going to go back pack shopping soon too, but will have to speak with my friend first - the one who said she'd give me her old pack from South America. I'm seeing her on Friday for lunch though, so should be able to sort something out then with her.
This week though it's trying to sort out what I have to get rid of - house hold things wise. So many things, and then what I want to keep of that. I think I should probably talk to Yani - the guy I am moving in with - first, to see if there is anything that will be useful at my new home! Moving as well, am very excited about that too. It's such a lovely place, old, high ceilings, veggie patch! Can't believe it, it's like having a taste of what I want when I finally decide to settle down, but on a smaller, renter scale.
Life is flowing well, I just have to try and keep floating with it, rather than trying to swim against it.

Endless blue sky and new opportunities!

I found a new place to live on Saturday. I can't believe how easy it was, and how good it is. It's in Thornbury so it will probably take me about 1/2 an hour on the tram to work, but only one tram and the stop is practically at the end of my street, whilst at the other end is a park. Has a huge backyard, and a veggie garden, art room, sun room, front porch. Ahhh it's lush! The first place I went to see, and I only decided to have a look and see if there was anything good about... Serendipity. The guy who lives there seems really nice, works for the vic aids council, and seems reasonably chilled.
Went out to dinner on Friday night, and then met some friends at a bar in the city. Was planning on having a reasonably quiet night, catching the bus home, but it didn't turn out that way... What is it Phil says? A friday night mystery tour...
Didn't get hugely pissed, but was happy enough. Had a huge chat with a friend and cleared the air with him. Feeling soo much better about all that stuff now, and happy with where it's all at before he goes to the other side of the world. Some people you meet you just don't want to loose again in the tumble on life, and he's one of 'em.
Still it's gonna be like that when I leave isn't it...? Maybe not so much with some of my old old friends, like Jen. She's always close regardless of where I or she move to, and I know that I wont ever lose contact with her. But with some other mates, who are close new friends it's a bit diferent isn't it? You wonder if they will keep in conact with you too, or if they will move while you are away and then you never hear from them again.... Still it's not enough reason to stay. I have to go and sort it... It just feels right in my solar plexus, and belly. That pull, which is like your heart is attached to a string and is being tugged towards the sky.... That sounds a bit gross when you visualize it realistically, but I know what I mean anyway.
I bought some new sneakers while I was out this weekend, some yellow canvas boots, with a cheesey picture of Marilyn Munro on the side. But when I got home - all excited about putting them on and going for a walk, I found that they had sold me two right feet. Can't believe it! How dumb is that, how dumb am I?
Anyway, I will change them today, and later this week I get to pick up my new hand made boots, along with that skirt I put on lay-by! Woo hoo, lots of excitement happening this week....
Mark has his going away party this Saturday night, which should be a laugh. Am looking forward to that, then the weekend after I'll be moving. I was going to visit Dad, but I figure that having a place to live is more important.
What a gorgeous, endless blue sky.....

What a glorious day! So nice outside, I am wondering what the hell I am doing inside watching it from the window.... But work is good, I like it here.
I've been shopping - so much for me trying to be a bit more tight about cash and saving... Ah well the justification is that everything I have bought so far are things that I will need for when I go away. Works for me. I got a new top yesterday and a long baby doll type dress for $35, which I reckon is pretty damn good. And today I put this lovely black wool skirt on lay-by. Sounds horrible when I type it like that, but it actually looks quite good. Well obviously, otherwise I wouldn't have bought it would I?
Am over yesterdays emotional debacle. Gawd, walking around with my heart on my sleeve I was! But I guess it happens every now and then. But I spent some time with myself, and am feeling a lot better about things today. Am happier, and contented with things. Am going to speak with Steve this weekend, and am actually looking forward to it.
Am baby sitting my nephew tomorrow night - how's that for some saturday night entertainment?? Watching the wiggles or god knows what, and baking a cake with a 3 1/2 year old.... I don't know how to contain my excitement! No seriously it'll be good. Brodie is a lovely little cherub, and he keeps you thinking that's for sure. Questions questions questions!
Had another guy around last night to look at the spare room, he was really nice and said he liked the room. Thought he was going to move in, which wouldn't have been such a bad thing. But he went home and measured up his things, and they won't fit in the room, which is a bummer. So tomorrows plan to look at houses is still to go ahead.
Ah well that's about all I can be bothered writing now. Will no doubt type again later next week....

just having a look to show a friend...

What a beautiful sunshiney day.... Not too hot, perfect, and all I feel like doing is crying.
Ahh, when you think you're past something and then you feel that rush of emotion, like the rush of wind just before a train arrives at an underground station, and then when it hits, there's nothing you can do, but get on and ride with it. You never know what is going to instigate it; this morning it was a poor choice of music. All those dreams and plans and promises; gone, broken and lost. Not that the new dreams and beginnings aren't worth the effort, but I can't help but grieve the ones that are lost forever.
Ach well life moves on doesn't it? And really there is no point getting sad about the passage of time and the path that your life has followed. I guess you can only try to learn from it and move on a stronger person. Today though, I don't feel any strength, just a lingering ache, and I can see so clearly the way I felt when it all first happened.... Just a slight relapse, not doubt in my decisions, no want to turn back and change anything, life goes forwards, not backwards. I guess it's more like grieving the loss of an old and trusted friend.
Anyway, enough of that.

I am thinking of moving house rather than getting someone to move in, although someone is coming around today, and I am kind of hedging my bets, but we shall see what they are like. Or at least Al will, this guy is coming around while I'm still here at work. I went and had a look yesterday and have two places I need to look at on Saturday. Michelle - the darling - has said she will drive me there to have a look with me. So if I do move I'll be getting rid of all those things you accumulate through the course of building a home together.... here it comes again.....
OK got a grip. I'm thinking it is probably best like that anyway, I can advertise all the big white goods things in the Trading Post, and hopefully when I do move it'll just be my bedroom stuff, Summah and me. Much easier than moving a whole house again.

What a good day. Well, every day is good, but feeling happier today. I'm going to have a look at the windows in Firends of the Earth and next to Soul Food today to see if I can find a dog friendly share house on this side of town. Have gotten so sick of weird people coming over to check out the room, or not turning up at all. So I think it is time to consider the option of moving out myself. I suppose I should talk to Al about it tonight. Michelle said that she would be able to come and look at them with me this weekend, and drive me around which is brilliant - makes life easier. So it's time to find that dog friendly share house that is waiting for someone like me. Closer to work, and all that sort of stuff I am missing in Port Melb. Closer to friends and more public transport.
Mark came around last night. Was so good to see him, feels like ages since I had. He seems reasonably positive about going, even though it'll be mid winter, and all the rest that goes along with going back to the UK. But I really think it'll be good for him, some stability for a little while at least... Which really is what I need with my home arrangement before I head off... Ach well I figure if I wish hard enough and long enough I'll get what I need... Ha ha, which fairy tale says that?
So I guess I will be getting rid of a whole lotta my stuff early, which isn't such a bad thing. And with any luck I will find somewhere cheaper than where I am now, and be able to save that little bit more... Hopefully it's not wishful thinking, or if it is that it will come true. Maybe I should find a falling star to wish upon.
Crossing fingers, touching wood and praying that I find some gooduns today at lunch time...

Ah, ain't life strange? Or is it just people? Either way, it's strangeness all 'round.
Have another guy coming to look at the spare room this evening. Hopefully he won't want to talk about his sperm count, or some other completely irrelevant, gross subject. And hopefully he will turn up so that I'm not rushing home and cancelling appointments for nada. Is that too much to ask?
My friend has been sent marching orders from immigration recently, which is very sad. Am trying not to be upset though, the other side of the world isn't THAT far away, and besides, I am going that way in about a year, so we may meet again at some stage.... Everyone I care about though seems to get sent far away, one way or another... Still what can you do? Everyones lives take varying paths and just because you're not always there on their way, doesn't mean they aren't in your thoughts and you in theirs.
Speaking of which I have just signed up to this 'find your school friends' web site thing-a-ma-jig, which was interesting. So many of my primary school friends are there, which was a bit of a spin considering that in total only about 100 kids were at 'my' school. Bizare to see what they are doing and how they talk about their lives. Especially when you remember them as just annoying boys in the playground, or someone that you used to compete with in tests. Am too much of a fish to actually pay to contact them though. Ha ha, care enough to have a bit of a voyers look, but not enough to share my current life. Ha ha ha. Don't have any happy and interesting news that I want to share with people I knew when I was 10 though... Maybe on a day when I am feeling a little more 'up'.
Anyway, will also catch up with my mate who is about to leave tonight, after the potential house mate has been around. Am looking forward to it as I haven't seen him in over a week, and what New Years, immigration and who knows what else has gone on in that time. Will be good to see how he is dealing with it all and what he plans to do.
Picked up my divorce papers today from the post office. I swear when ever I get registered mail it just sits at the post office, no card goes in my letter box to let me know. It's all bloody guess work. At least it is there though, and I can finish lodging my papers and then just sit back and wait for my court date - and the time off to organise my trip O.S!! It's nearly all I can think about... So cannot wait for June. But will be hibernating much of the time until then.

Well another day, another dollar? Hopefully more than just one... Although we have raised quite a bit for the Iran earthquake appeal. And things with me aren't dire, just needing a bit of attention. Time to stop spending and start seriously saving, and paying off that niggling debt.

And so the new year is here.... and I'm back at work. Feeling a little flat after all the madness, bit of an anti-climax really, but still was fun!
I still feel like I have all this stuff that I need to do, but I can't quite remember all that needs doing, or why... Not a good way to start the year, but maybe an overshadow from the way the last one ended?
I didn't get my papers from England sent, so that's one definite that needs sorting today, and there's the situation with trying to find a new house mate, and possibly another in a few months as Al is talking about moving sometime in the next month or so... But I feel like there is something else I need to do, which is more important than both of those... BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!! Arrgh! Probably nothing, just one of those days when you get that niggle.
The only resolution I made was to save more and go out less so that I can definitely get off over seas in June. Everything needs to be geared towards that, otherwise I won't make it when I want to. Maybe that's the urgency I am feeling? Who knows, an inexplicable predicament.
In any case, as per usual, there is plenty I should be doing at work, so I had better get to it. Will write about my NYE and NYD later when I have a spare minute - if I get one!

Ahh, almost lunch time - my trays are empty, so I can steal a moment and finish this entry. It was a short week last week, I was off work from Wednesday til now, which was very nice. Spent a couple of days after new years feeling quite scattered, but happily floating along in my own little world.
Went to Jess's to see the New Year in on her roof top, some lovely fireworks - but I love fireworks, as far as I am concerned all fireworks are wicked. Wasn't a bad evening there, shortly after 12 I trammed it to Fitzroy to party with Liz and Ruben. Wasn't bad, low key at both places, so Liz and I got into the mood for some dancing and dragged everyone to another party in Collingwood. Little did we know they were playing 80's cock rock, so we weren't there for long until we decided to drag everyone back to Rubens. On the way there Liz and I grabbed a taxi back to hers and left everyone to their own devices - think we had made enough demands for one evening. Chilled on her couch and dozed a little from about 6am until about 10, then legged it back to mine to feed & walk the hound, have a shower and change, then back out again to go to Summer Dayze.
Met Josh in the city for some pizza (it was about 2pm by this time) and coffee, met up with Liz and Rach again and then went off to the festival. Wasn't bad, had a ride on the Feris wheel - in keeping with my NY tradition it was the only ride I got! ha ha - danced a little, wandered aimlessly for longer than I care to admit, and then found myself wandering home at about 8ish. Got home and chilled to some tracks at home, was still wired, but just couldn't be around people anymore.
So that was NYE. Friday I went to the National Art Gallery with Liz, and then shared a bottle of vino at Fed square before going home again. Was going to catch up with Mark, but didn't hear from him and couldn't get in contact with him. Think he got back later than expected from Tas. Was probably buggered anyway from his celebrations.
Kesson came round for a short while on Friday night, which was nice enough. He leaves to go back to NZ next week, but that's all ok. No pining on my part, and I doubt on his.
Saturday got my washing sorted and waited for people to show to look at the room for rent. Two people didn't show and stuffed up my plans as I was waiting for them rather than going into the city, but such is life at times I guess.
Anthony by the way, isn't moving in. He wanted to move and owe me rent and bond, which I wasn't too pleased to do, so reneged on him being able to move in and am still looking for someone. A Paul came around last night and him and his boyfriend may become the new dwellers in Marks room, still haven't decided about that yet, but have to call them tonight and let him know.
Visited Jen yesterday, poor gal was soo hung over, and not feeling too good at all, so I only stayed a few hours then trained it back to mine. They liked their X-mas gifts though which was a bonus.
All in all it was a good time off over NY. Probably nothing like my next one will be (who knows where I will be spending it??), but glad I went to the effort instead of staying in.

Ahh... Christmas is done, but it was pretty good. The hire car was nice, and I enjoyed being able to get around with out public transport for those few days. Josh came down with me, said he had a good time, which was nice. Was a pretty relaxed day though, lunch, presents and some nonsense chatter with the family.
Unlike usual conversation didn't deteriorate to poo and wee jokes, which was a little surprising, somehow it didn't completely feel like Christmas....
Spent boxing day relaxing at home - no one else is there as Mark has moved out and Al is away visiting family. It's been LURVERLY having the house to myself.
Christmas eve had two people around to have a look at the room, and a guy - Anthony - is moving in shortly. Apparently he is going to call sometime today re keys and when he will actually be moving his things. Seems ok, but all remains to be seen - what can you tell about living with someone after having met them for a mere 1/2 hour or so? But it' shouldn't be too much of a hassle I wouldn't think, and if it is, it's just back to the drawing board of finding someone else again...
On the Saturday after boxing day I went to visit my sister, and stayed the night - felt soo guilty about leaving Summah at home by herself in the back yard. But she was ok when I arrived home the next arfternoon. Played play-doh with Brodie on the Sunday morning which was actually heaps of fun. Always wanted one of those things that you stick play-doh in their heads and squash them down to make their hair grow.....
Lost my purse this morning - agonised for hours over my tram ticket and the little cash that was in their, but got a call just before lunch from the bank saying they had it their for me to pick up! Soo pleased, and so lucky that it was still complete with cards, cash and ticket.
Our new system will be on line this afternoon, which is earlier than expected - so good - should be soo much easier now to get things done. And no more watching things pile up on my desk calling to me to complete them. Mind you I have been ignoring the cries from my filing for a few months now. I am deaf to its pleas!
Anyway, there is much work waiting, must get back to the grind!

My eyes are about to fall out of my head - I should be wearing swimming goggles as a saftey precaution, and why not? there is no dress code here, hell, I may even wear a wet suit and flippers to work tomorrow.... Maybe going a bit far... hmm?
BBQ last night, was fun but I just wanted to stay in my warm safe bed this morning. Gawd I love having it all to myself, spreading out, scrunching the whole doona around me. It's just so yummy. I could easily be one of those hibernating creatures, if you get to choose your form in the next life I may even consider becoming one..... or not.
The lovely J's seemed to enjoy coming over, and it was delicious to have them around, hardly ever get them to leave the comfort of their little den to come to mine - a little like me with my bed... But it was good, and a few other friends who I won't see until the new year or after.... It'd be nice to have a friends Christmas one year, the family that you actually chose, but everyone has their own family obligations don't they... Maybe when we are all old and decrepit.
And now it's all the last minute organization for Christmas, pick up that blasted cray, sort out the bed side tables for Simon, get around to pick up the hire car and Josh, then back home to collect the pressents, and around to Jess' before heading down to the WOZ. Hmm, a nice restful Christmas day. Ach well at least I will have the freedom of a car for a few days! That'll be very nice!
And possibly a short day tomorrow as all the systems we use for work will be down. What a pleasant thought....

Time for a Christmas blog... a pre Christmas blog anyway. The weather has gone RUBBISH! Glad Josh and I didn't hire that convertible to go down to Dad's for Christmas lunch... Still don't know what kind of car it is, I'm just praying that it has a stereo, and air con. Fingers are crossed and am touching wood. - Although I was crossed on the stairs by some woman in a shoe shop yesterday so this may negate all my precautions...
She even saw me walk backwards up the stairs to avoid crossing some other girls going up - what was she thinking??!
Have finally got all my present shopping done, if anyone has been forgotten it's just too bloody bad, there is no way I am going back to the stores for anything other than dog food, and maybe beer.... Had a pretty easy time of the old shopping gig though, was thinking it was gonna be a shit fight to get around on the footpath, let alone in the stores, but it was suprisingly quiet! Much to my delight.
Am going down to dad's with Josh, which should be interesting, and I will let you know how it goes... Hopefully well, but can't tell now due to that stupid woman on the stairs - ha ha. My brother Aaron and his wife should be down as well, but the Linc and Yvette have piked this year - wish I could'a, but the whole O.S thing sorta means I really probably am obligated to have the last Christmas in oz - for a few years at least - with the nucleus group.
Got myself a christmas present or two - some sandals and a book mark. At least then there is something I will like, how mercanary of me! Bad....
Work is still pretty busy, but slowly winding down. Can't wait til NYE when I will have 5 FULL DAYS OFF IN A ROW!! Sorry for shouting, but I'm very excited...
Anyway it's almost 5, time to log off and get my arse home to start cooking for this BBQ, crappy weather for it, but hopefully will still be fun. A few friends, a few beers, some laughs and present giving, what more could you ask for other than good weather and no rain?? Ach well.... I guess you can't have it all, but I don't know why not!

Ahh, what a week, and this is shaping up much the same.. So close to Christmas and still so many things to do - finish present shopping, pick up the hire car, organise Dad's cray, tickets for NY day... it just goes on!
Never mind though, it should all be worth it. Whenever I start to think about new years eve I get that excited sick feeling in my gut. Hope it's a good night...
Mark moves out this weekend, plus the garage sale happens, and I'm supposed to finish my Christmas shopping.. I guess I'll be finding some extra hours somewhere? No time for relaxing before the Christmas break, plenty of time when it rocks around maybe?
Hopefully with Mark moving on out we can remain friends, all I know is that I can't live with him any longer. Just got too much with the bickering, and I didn't even know half the time what we were arguing about... Maybe he didn't either. Who knows, but if absence makes the heart grow fonder, maybe it will also make the friendship stronger... Possibly wishfull thinking there Vic, but rhymes well still.
Am going out tonight to see "goodbye Lenin" with him though, so maybe some entertainment and lighthearted fun will do it all good. God I hate conflict.
Haven't seen the new boy for a while, and probably wont for a while longer, no time, or space at the moment. Still all that can wait, there are other more important and interesting things going on at the moment.
Steve had papers served last week and we're still talking friendly which is good. Was dreading the call after they got served, and in the end there was nothing to worry about! A nice suprise for a change! Have the week off around my court date, so will be organising visas and tickets to go OS at the same time. CAN'T WAIT!!
Work - database is still down, still watching things pile up 'round my ears, and still waiting to find out if the two weeks worth of work before it went down will have to be re-done. Not a pleasant thought really. Never mind though, what doesn't kill you just makes you bloody angry!!
Well enough rambling! Will blog again later when I remember...

Wow, it's been ages since I had a blog.... This should make me feel a bit better.
This started off though as a diary of my clay progress, supposedly building to an exhibition at the start of next year. Have since decided that I won't be able to do that AND save to piss off OS next year, so have stopped working like a maniac to get all the pieces done, and now the clay men and women, sculptures, pots, eyes and other body parts serenely lay in my back shed waiting to be fired. Hopefully I will be able to get along there before christmas and take it in. Then I can start to clean out the shed, and start selling my worldly possesions and trim my life down to the bare minimums...
Still all that work hasn't gone to waste. If or when I get back to Oz from my travels I can use them as part of my portfolio to get into a fine arts course. I may be actually able to sit down in a class for long enough to get a degree. Wouldn't that be a bit good?
So life has been sailing along with less clay work and more social fun. Met a friend of a friend the other day, and have been having some great laughs with her. Always a good thing. And it's nice to be spending some more time with the Jessie one, and her lovely boy.
Savings are going very well for the os trip, almost above target, so I guess that means I am on target, either way it's all good. Am getting some boots made for when I go away, although they will be ready long before that. Some mid calf black biker looking things with a zipper (shoes with zippers - arrgh!) but with a sole particularly made for walking! And I'm gonna do some long miles in those.
Divorce is almost through, papers getting served this week, and court date is Feb. The court screwed it up and set the date for Feb that is already gone, but was easy enough to fix - only had to stress for around 1/2 an hour.... So it's all basic process now.
Anyways, time to go and I have been waiting for today to end since it began... Hasn't been a fun one - so bloody busy!! Anyways I'm off. Will try to blog more often, don't want to get all blocked up.... Heh heh heh.

Ahh busy busy busy. Haven't had time to write, time to clay, or much time to rest. Work has taken over, and the rest of my time seems to be filled with looking after my hound, and doing things around the house - or visiting friends of course.
I'm going to need to make some time for my clay work other wise this exhibition wont eventuate... Ah well I haven't booked the space yet, so if I don't show it maybe I can use it in a portfolio when I get back from travels. And they are what's taking priority at the moment, hence the full time work hours.
But apart from the busyness all is going well and life is good. The little people have dried well and are awaiting a trip to the kilns - something I keep saying I will do next weekend, and then not getting there, much to their dismay.... But soon I will borrow a car and make my way accross ever so carefully so as not to break any of my work. It's always nerve wracking making that trip.
Well I wish I had something to say about what I have been making but as I haven't been in there for about 4 or so weeks now there's naught to write. Maybe in a week or so...

Just been reading through this blog. Gawd you can see where I've just gone off one a complete tangent, (how would I ever finish this writing I am doing... I should take that traveling..) see there again. . But back there I just stopped making sense... Oops. But then it does give you something more to think about.
Sort of makes it hard to link all these clay pieces together. It's like I'm researching why I had the ideas I had in one night about this clay thing. I just sat down and thought aoubt visual interpretations of the idea of fitting in, and then as I do each one need to try and understand the beginning of each idea. Like why is people all dancing around in tha circle part of fitting in? Is it do with early Saxon tribal people having rituals such as maypole dancing, does it have to do with mad trance parties, or is it the ring a ring a rosey from child hood, is it further back than that even. Maybe it has something to do with world spirit and everyone remembers somewhere a feeling of belonging through dance even before they start dancing....? Where is that connection? Is it relevant to the greater part of community the people looking at it? Or is it a personal glimps at the artist recreateing it? Is it relevant to the viewer?

Well I've gone back to working on these naked figures holding masks, and am pleased to say that I have finally got them staying up, and looking reasonably human like. Although I still seem to be going for the fat arsed look. Not to say there is anything wrong with that - especially when I am sort of modelling them on myself!
So far I have two done and need to make another 4 - 5 and choose the best 3, or 5. Will have to see how they look once they have been fired.
Speaking of which I will have to get off to the kilns very shortly as my work space is quickly filling up with greenware and I can hardly move for fear of smashing things. Still at least I am on the way to finishing, or at least getting half way towards finishing the ideas I had mapped out for this exhibition.
Still have to speak to the gallery owner about hiring the space, plus she's moved the gallery to Sydney Rd Brunswick, so I'll have to get over there and check it out before booking the space. Hopefully it will be just as appropriate as the other one, if not more so....
I got some excellent things for my birthday which should help with the whole figure sculpting. A little book of some of Rodins' famous pieces, and some cards with like things on them. All to be delivered into my clay room for me to ponder and envy...
Anyway there's the up date, best get back to it, the clay is calling!

Some ideas for hand tesselations

Well the pidgeon holes are finished. It was satisfying to have something work from start to finish for a change. I have decided to fill it with 'things that people use to categorise others' like cars and tellies. Hopefully I will be able to get a lot of them from a toy store, as I don't want to make them all out of clay. But I suppose I will have to see what I can find and make what I can't. The box that is to be filled with miscellaneous things I am still pondering on. But there is plenty of time to figure it out as I am still waiting to here about booking a time at this gallery... Should probably send another e-mail.
When I get a chance I will post a picture of this one, and the other that stillisn't showing.

I guess this is what happens when I get all skitey and boastful. The fat business man's legs broke off just below the knee, his crotch cracked and then he split his side - not through laughter either. I had gone out to my work room to finish his arms and head, but found him in pieces, much to my dismay! So I pummelled him back into a lump of clay and have started on a different idea instead. I can't deal with these figures anymore - for a while at least.
I decided to go with some slab work, something that I have more experience with, so I shouldn't come up against so many disappointments. Then once I have finished that I will try again with the naked figures. But I think I will make them smaller and solid rather than hollow.
So the idea I have started in the mean time is idea no. 8 - Pidgeon Holes all holding like objects with one 'stuffed' with miscellaneous things. So far so good, although I am still in the process of making the pidgeon holes themselves and not yet decided what to do as far as the objects I will fill them with, something to ponder I guess as I finish the slab work.... Will post a pic when I get a chance. By the way I am still waiting for the pic Aaron took to be posted on his web page so's I can paste it here... All in good time I guess!

Ohh S'ah! it's all coming along pretty nicely now. The fat business man is taking shape, and at present is laying down on a pillow in my clay room so that he doesn't distort. The use of coils has been my saviour, rather than just sticking bits on and moulding him to shape as I was in previous attempt. So finally I have a near complete figure, that just needs a little sculpting to look 'real'. He stands at about 40cm in hight, and has a big belly. Nice!
I also started a woman, she has pretty wide child bearing hips, but nothing past the waist at the moment so she stands upside down awaiting some more attention from me. Nice feet though, if you're into that sort of thing...
I'll get Aaron around shortly to take some photos of them both soon while they're still in their early stages so you (and I) can see how they are evolving.

For some reason the picture for this isn't appearing - I'll have a look into that and fix it when I get a chance. Anyways, this is the first finished piece, I still haven't decided what to call it, but am thinking along the lines of something like "Where do I belong?"